Today, 14th March 2013, 8:36 AM I’ve just been kicked out of the International Organizations mid-term examination. It’s because that I didn’t bring my:
KTM (Kartu Tanda Mahasiswa)
a.k.a the Student Card
I forgot to bring my wallet and every morning I was such in a rush. When I asked my brother in law to pick me up to campus, he has always been more ready than I am. So then, I don’t know why today I didn’t pick my wallet, which have been always there, the place where I put nearby my mobile phones and stuff. It is today. Yesterday I brought it though I was more in a rush than today, and mas (Javanese form from Mister/Mr.) 'M' (the lecturer & the overseer for Conflict Resolution mid term exam), didn’t mention a thing about it.
BUT WHY TODAY. Today I was freaking forgotten to take it and put it in my bag! Could this be a warning from Allāh? I felt the start of today was joyful. I prayed my fajr prayer though I was quite late, I studied some materials for today’s examination, and then.. I had taken a bath, I made my bed up, I just didn’t feel any burden this morning as much as yesterday. The same thing happened today with yesterday is that I haven’t got any breakfast. And now if I’m gonna get some, I can’t. I just don’t have money to buy some.
What kind of trial is this? I know that this kind of thing happened because of my own fault. MY OWN FAULT. Bad luck, today I have the examination, which has the exam’s overseer who is terribly strict to the rules, he’s the lecturer for this course too. If I didn’t bring the wallet yesterday, my only problem would only be the way I went back home.
At 9.00 AM my brother in law brought my wallet (I am so sorry, & thank you so much bro! Jazakallāh khayran katsiran.. I wish you a great reward for helping me). And when I showed my student card to the exam's overseer, he’s still not giving me any chance.
OH GOD. WHY.
I am questioning everything related to the bad luck happened to me today. After I have questioned these all, I learned so many lessons. Alhamdulillāh..
- Mama said that I was so careless, though I have been in my desk staring at my laptop screen for such a long time… I can be so careless for not bringing my wallet. So then, I must be more aware and be less careless next time. I’ve been realizing this bad habit of mine, but after experiencing this.. In shā’ Allāh, I’ll be more aware. It's true that, we have to prepare things the night before. (I've just been oversimplify).
- Thanks to one of my friend; Yossi. She said that it’s better to have a certain punishment. It’s better to have my own lecturer for this course as the overseer. If it wasn’t him, perhaps there would be many steps I should go through.. and ended not getting any permission to join the examination.
- I should be more eager to be actively participated in class. Because mas 'P' is a kind of lecturer who sees more the participation inside the class. The percentage for assignments takes 40% in scoring. The mid term and final examinations take 30% each. OK, be ready, and GAME ON!
- I can meet my Lord through dhuha prayer.
- Be connected though it’s just only a few word.
- I MUST NOT HATE anything/anyone (my carelessness, my university's strict regulation/my lecturer). Now, after thinking some reasons, I must appreciate mas 'P’s decision. Though what I did isn't against the humanity or anything cruel, (and just for the sake of man-made procedure), what mas 'P' did is for obeying the laws, his decision is to create no more rebellion like me (well, that’s exaggerating). He's also the vice-dean anyway, so he must exemplified how does the rule go. This is one big point I try to learn: how to appreciate things I don’t like. I also have done the same thing once in the 2nd semester, and I have been warned not to do the same thing. That seemed fair.
- This reminds me of one thing. I once read a hadith. It said that when we ease others in difficulty, in shā’ Allāh, Allāh will help us in the time when we are in need of other’s help. This got me think that I should not complicate others. SHOULD NEVER. Perhaps.. to my little brother, especially. Probably I have complicated him with stuff all these times. I have to learn to be a better teacher.
But, the thing that sadden me about this is that I disappoint my mama. I am so sorry mama. But the most important is: we must remember that any trials we face in this life must have positive impacts for ourselves. Once again, remember: don't look after this temporary life in the dunya. Be more focus on the aspects for the akhirah. I shouldn't lie, or do reckless things just to get PARTICIPATED in that bloody exam. No, the point of life is not to reach perfection, become the bloody smart person, and get straight As in schools, or colleges. In life: man makes mistakes, man learns from their mistakes, man changes because of it, and man becomes a happy learner ever after. In shā' Allāh.
I Suffered, I Learned, I Changed.