Today should be the last day of final examination. But no, on Monday.. awaits one more course's examination. It's 'Hukum Indonesia' course. My mind has been floating to holiday time since last week we have this long weekend in Indonesia. Haha~ Now I really need to prepare on my plans for this holiday. But why am I getting to be clueless on what to do when holiday is getting nearer? weirdness. But Alhamdulillāh the month of relieve is getting nearer, soon. Please, Mila. This will be the right time to think carefully for the next steps. Ya Allāh.. I really need Your Guidance for everything. Please guide me in every step I take. Tomorrow I'm going to attend my high school's event and met some friends, and.. next Tuesday, I'm going to follow my mother to Cirebon, insha Allāh.. But there's one more harassing thing that needs to be cleared. La ḥawla wa la quwwata illa billah,There is no initiative or capability except from Allah.
Assalamu'alaikum, So, the last two days was my birthday. Alhamdulillāh, Allāh had given me a chance to have passed my eighteenth year. I'm really grateful with every lessons I get throughout my life. Hopefully I'll also get better at learning life itself. It's like, hopefully.. on the end I would say, "Alhamdulillāh, lessons learned", and get the benefits for myself and for my surroundings also. Nineteen, is the number what BC calendar has measured me. Nineteen, what a number! I just tend to like uneven number. When people congratulate and sent prayers or wishes for me on my birthday, I just can not equal my gratitudes to Allāh's blessings. Truly, we couldn't feel so much blessed without His Mercy. Allāhuakbar! All connections throughout words sent from family and friends have turned my thought to my:
Terimakasih sudah melahirkan aku mama, mama.. walaupun mama ga suka mengakses internet apalagi berkunjung ke blog Mila, dari lubuk hati yang dalam, aku sangat berterima kasih kepadamu karena engkaulah yang melahirkan aku ke dunia ini, karena engkaulah wujud ini ada, dirawat, disayang, dididik, dimanja, dilindungi olehmu.. Hingga aku berdiri dan berjalan, mengerti dan belajar, mengamati dan mengenal, dan kini aku dapat mengenal Allāh dan segala kekuasaan, dan keagunganNya. Meski aku belum bertemu dengan 'Cahaya di atas cahaya'-Nya.. Namun, doakan aku untuk mencapai impianku tersebut. Kini, aku juga bisa mengenal keluargaku, teman-temanku, masha Allāh. Begitu beruntungnya aku bisa mengenal kalian semua.. Aku benar-benar berharap kita semua bisa dapat bersatu sebagai umatNya, yang bisa saling mengingati dan mengingati satu sama lain tentang Allāh. Sama-sama berjuang mengarungi kehidupan dunia dengan tekad untuk menegakkan Dien Allāh, dan mencapai Jannah-Nya. Insha Allāh. Mama, kau lah makhlukNya yang terdekat dengan ku dan engkaulah yang berikan aku kehidupan. Mama, aku sayang padamu mama.. Ya Allāh, berikanlah mamaku kesejahteraan, ketentraman hati di dunia ini sehingga dapat menghantarkannya ke surga-Mu ya Allāh. Mama, terimakasih.. Aku yakin Allāh akan membalas amal ibadahmu dengan setimpal. Semoga hubungan kita semua pun dapat berlanjut hingga akhirat. Aamiin.
It's the ninth day of May. It has been more than a week May 2012 has passed. Time is going really fast and I keep saying the same thing. I just feel like splitting out the monologues inside myself here. May is actually my month of the year. In the BC calendar it's the month of my birth to this world. But I don't feel pretty much about myself on my own birthday anymore, I don't get extra-excited like I used to feel or make a count down to my birthday (I've never done that actually). Thanking Allāh everyday for giving me the chance to be alive is what I get excited for though sometimes I fail my own words or actions in showing my gratitudes. Astagfirullāh. But then I gotta be hurry remembering the purpose why am I here. Thinking about my birthday, I think it will be more proper if it was entitled as the day of celebration for my mother who had struggled for me to come to the life. Masha Allāh! It's because of her, people around me felt happy for my coming to this life (-maybe at that time too- because I see that every newborn babies in the family bring in the euphoria and tightening the family bond too!). I just feel like thanking my mother over and over again for giving me birth and raised me until I've became who I am right now. My gratitudes for my mother would be manifested in the way I behave, and how I strive to be a salihah daughter. Aamiin. It really is a tough job for a creature with such soft heart. Especially if it's seen in my mother's conditions by now. Mothers of the world, you all are awesome. What I've just mentioned is a piece of thought of what brings me about my own birthday. This thought is actually influenced from Yasmin Mogahed's article I read here. I really suggest anyone that read this writing to click and read that article. Now I'm in my saturation point to do all the college stuff. I want to break free...! Well, I know I will. Cause this week is actually my last week on the second semester, and up until the next 3 weeks would be my last term examination weeks. Please pray for me to get through this well :3. Aamiin. I'm praying the best for all the ummah in this world too. May Allāh always guide us in getting His ridha both in this world and hereafter. Aamiin.
On this holiday, I want to be productive more than ever. Be productive like hell (I don't know why does the word 'hell' really fit to describe extremeness. But it sounds so). I want to learn cooking healthy foods and some delicious desserts, learn arabic language, improve my french based on continuing the lessons I got from college, learn spanish language too maybe?, improve my Al-Qur'an reading.. Oh my God..! I've never joined any daily activities from the mosque except when I was very little. I learned to read the Al-Qur'an with some ustadzahs who came to my house twice a week (approximately). The last ustadzah who taught me is Ustadzah Wati. I really miss her! I still remember how she shared islamic stories to me and made me really amazed about Islam, I also respect how she's really patient to teach the annoying girl named Mila (which is me). I've just realized that it's very hard to be a teacher especially when we got a child who behave like me (in the past). My behavior is actually sadden me. I must keep reforming this akhlaq.. Bismillāh. The last time she taught me is when I was still in middle school. That's a long time ago! After that, I learned some tajweeds lessons from school, or I learned it by myself and read it as much as I can. Now, my friend of 'ngaji' is the "Miracle the Reference" syamiil qur'an with its e-talking pen. It's a really good innovation to have a talking-version qur'an. But still, I wish I could read Al-Qur'an with someones, with anyone who can correct my faults, and teach me the right way to read it. Haaah.. I'm so social-less. Admitting the truth all the time won't take me anywhere. Anyone will think that's a sad thing but I believe that I'm not alone. I will always have Allāh to Guide me whenever I'm in the remembrance of Him. Insha Allāh. I really have to work on this. Maybe I can start it by teaching the iqra to my little brother more often, and help my mother to improve her readings. Bismillāh! Hopefully I could be like my amazing teachers. May Allāh raised all our teachers who have transfered their beneficial knowledges on the judgement day because of their praiseworthy deeds. Aamiin.
There are actually so many things I want to do all over the holiday! Updating this blog with some planned stuffs, travel around Indonesia.. to Aceh.. to Semarang.. to Jogjakarta.., experiencing new stuffs, and get amazing lessons through over the journeys. That sounds amazing to me. I also want to energize myself with more mature thoughts for my visions in this life alongside with taking real actions. Yeah, this better be a self-improvement month. Well, self-improvement must be done everyday actually. We must move and move towards islamic living.
For me it's really helping having this screen captured especially when you made it as your wallpaper on your mobile phone or iPod. So, we could prepare ourselves some minutes before the athan came. Therefore, we can be ready to answer the athan too in the most possible places and times, of course. ^_^